March 1, 2012

Jeremiah and me in Turkey 2010

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us...Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:18, 37


March 1, 2012.  I still shudder to hear it--to write it.  The month and day will never sound ordinary again.  The year was thus defined.   It was harsh.  Crushing. I didn't even know that pain this deep was possible.  My life was changed forever.

Even now I see the red 1:06 on the clock, shining out of the dark night.  The words that ripped my life apart still echo in my mind.  All I wanted to do was email him to know he was there...but he was gone.  It all seemed to unreal...or maybe too real.

At the age of 7, I sent my oldest brother off to Iraq as a teacher.  Although he was 20 years older than myself, he was my closest friend.  I was young, but I knew Iraq was known to be dangerous.  I cried every night for the next year, fearing most the reality that I might never see him again.  As more time passed, I grew less afraid and always eagerly anticipated his short visits home every summer and Christmas--for skating on the pond, tea parties, bike rides, games, explorations, car rides, late night walks, stories, and the best underdogs in the world. =)  Memories to last forever.

And then March 1, 2012 came.  "Jeremiah's been shot by one of his students" was the news of the early morning, coming from my dad.  Tears didn't come immediately, but I remembered those 7 years ago when I cried every night in fear of this very moment.

Even now it is hard to believe it has already...only...been 3 years since we flew to Iraq to be questioned individually, escorted everywhere by police, seen on TV, and most of all to bury one of my best friends on Kurdish ground.   "...he who loses his life for My sake will find it."

And so it is today, on the 3rd anniversary of Jeremiah's finished race, that I dedicate my blog to him, the first to have encouraged me to blog.

Jeremiah, I learned so much through your life, but even more through your death.  I am so proud to be your sister. I love and miss you more than ever.  

"Fear not, I am with you--O be not dismayed,

For I am thy God, I will still give thee aid;

I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by my gracious, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

 The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;

For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,

My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;

The flame shall not hurt thee--

I only design thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine."

Read this article.  It says everything better than I could.  http://www.worldmag.com/2012/03/a_rush_of_life