Saturday, January 27, 2018

Writing a good thank you

I have been an obsessive letter-writer for as long as I can remember.  I clearly recall, around the age of 8, going through my parents' address book and writing a letter to basically everyone I vaguely knew.  I wrote so many letters growing up that I finally began keeping a log of every letter written each year.  (2017 was my record at 203.)  Clearly I have an unusual obsession.
I am particularly thinking about thank you cards this time of year, catching up from all the generous gifts for my birthday [from my incredible friends and family!].

Thank you's are probably the most necessary cards to write in all of life.  I often hear of people who have long ago given up on writing thank you's because it is too time consuming and hard to keep up with.  Unfortunately, our society has tried comforting themselves with the [false] belief that it's not all that important anyway.

So let me first tell you why writing thank you's is so important, even in a world converting to social media and instant messages:
A hand-written, mailed card shows greater appreciation and thoughtfulness in return.  It's true that it takes time to write something out by hand...and even more time to think of what to write first.  Even though I often write letters and thank you's, I find myself struggling every time to know just how to begin or just what to say next.  However, the person who gave you a gift or provided you with a place to stay also spent a lot of time thinking about how to make it the perfect thing for you.  Writing a personal thank you is like saying "this is how much all your effort means to me," and everybody deserves to hear that.


Now that we've established that it's well-worth your time, there are probably still a great majority who don't know what to write.  Then the note is concluded within about 4 sentences and put in the mail.  That's a great start, but stamps are expensive these days.  If you're going to mail something, you might as well make it worth every penny.  Here's how to make a letter lengthier and more meaningful:  (Not all these tips for writing are original, but I'll be happy to take credit anyway.)

1. Immediately put it on your to-do list and get it done soon
As soon as you get something in the mail or get home from receiving a gift, put it on your to-do list.  If you forget, you will also likely forget to write a note.  Keep it near the top of priorities and get it done in the near future so you can check it off.  This is a really simple, non-active task to do in the evening before bed or even mid-way through the day for a mental break from other things.

2. Don't let your opening sentence start with "Thank you for..."
This is actually a tip I learned from How Rude, a fabulous, understandable book about manners of all kinds; and it has transformed (and improved) the way that I write a thank you card.  It is a huge temptation to start out saying "Thank you for the....".  After all, that's the reason you're writing anyway.  Nonetheless, starting out with a more creative sentence is much more meaningful and interesting.
For instance, my sister recently gifted me with headphones to replace my broken pair.  I could start out by saying "As I sit here writing you, I am experiencing the luxury of hearing my music in both ears rather than just one for the first time in months."  Then I could even start the next sentence with "Thank you so much for the headphones!" and build on it from there.
If it happens to be a gift that you don't find as specifically useful or desired, that just gives you greater opportunity to get creative.  When I'm really desperate, I start the first sentence with something random (just to avoid breaking the first rule of thank you writing) like "I'm sure I just saw a polar bear run by the window."  Whatever it takes to avoid starting with "Thank you," do it.  ;)

3. Write about why the gift is special to you
Once you've gotten past the first, brain-stretching sentence (believe me, it doesn't really get easy to be creative with it), you can begin describing why the gift means so much to you.  In the case of the headphones, I could proceed to say that they will be very well-loved because I live in a dorm room and I love listening to music all the time.
A few months ago a friend gave me a beautiful painting with Psalm 139 on it.  This was meaningful to me because Psalm 139 is a chapter that my dad led the family in memorizing several years ago, so it always reminds me of him.
The point is, make some personal connection with the gift if possible.

4. Tell how you plan to use it
Some gifts are self-explanatory.  In the recurring theme of the headphones, my sister would probably not expect me to tell her that I plan to use them to tie my shoes; and I would not feel the need to tell her that I'm going to use them to listen to music.  In that sort of instance, you could rather describe how frequently it will be a useful device in your life.
If you are gifted with money, tell how you plan to spend it.  If you don't know yet, make something up that is probably close to the truth.  :D

5. Include some additional information about you/your life
This step isn't always necessary or appropriate, but it can be an enjoyable addition--especially if you know the person fairly well.  Even with thank you cards, I usually like to include something interesting about what I've been doing lately or something exciting that is on the calendar for the near future.  As I mentioned before, stamps aren't cheap, so make the most of it.  It doesn't have to be lengthy or detailed; but the person you are writing has already shown interest in your life by gifting you with something, so you might as well let them in on a few things.

6. Conclude with a restatement of your gratitude
This is where it starts to sound like you're writing an essay or research paper.  But--believe me--once you have followed the above steps, it will be far more interesting than that.
In the final sentence or 2, restate just how thankful you are.  You don't have to rename the object or be specific all over again.  It can be something as simple as "Thank you again for the thoughtful gift and card.  I'm so thankful to have you as part of my life!"

Now go dig out your cards, stamps, and envelopes.  You probably have a lot to catch up on.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Farewell address (to teenager-dom)

Where has time gone?  How did I get to be so...aged?
A few days ago I saw the last of 19 years old, and I still haven't quite gotten over it.  I (knowing that one day it would be me) always made fun of people turning 20 because it seriously sounds like an enormous number.  I'm not a 5 year old, but I still think 20 is old.
As I thought over life and expectations this week, I realized that my story-book life didn't come true, and there aren't any re-dos in life.  Is that ok?..........


At one time I thought my chance at being a teenager was still so far in the future...just barely close enough to see if I squinted really hard and imagined a little dot on the horizon.  In my mind, that distanced fantasy dot held the answers to so many expectations.  I dreamed of myself being surrounded by friends, liked by everyone, and old enough to have a license and to graduate from the misery of high school with life still looking easier and better from there.  (I mean, aren't a license and graduation from the chains of school the leading lines to a lifetime of happiness?) 

That aforementioned dot came into full view all to soon.  In approaching my 13th birthday, I didn't feel the near dread my sister had experienced.  She didn't want to be associated with the connotations of that wild posse; I guess I felt like I'd fit right in with the group. It was time to swing the door back on its hinges and stare at my conjecture in the face.  And what I soon noticed was that I was a terrible weather forecaster. Yes, I had a few close friends who proved themselves faithful and I eventually obtained the satisfaction of a driver's license and graduation.  But life seemed to get progressively harder.  In fact, the years ahead were filled with heartbreak and realities that contradicted my ideal image.

What I didn't know ahead of time was that God would use every day of my teen years to take me from attempting to have a flawless life to being someone who came to know real love and to long for eternity.
I would've never asked for the events that came.  But when I look back on the past 7 years, I don't see sand dunes of misfortune and letdowns anymore.  I see a lot of years and situations where God proved His perfect love and goodness.  I see where He shaped me--often painfully--into a better person.  And I wouldn't give up these life lessons to have the years I originally dreamed of.  God gave me this, and it is perfect because He is perfect.

"Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments in your life.  Keep the faith.  It will all be worth it in the end."

Monday, January 1, 2018

2017 in review


It is always hard for me to look back over the entire year and pick out the highlights.  It seems as if there are either too many hard things or too many wonderful things; the reality is that there is a good bit of both, and I can’t possibly write about them all…but I like to attempt anyway.

The year started on a very pleasant note as I closed my high-school books for the last time in mid-January.   After years of set-backs, it was a relief to see that era of my life come to an end at long last.  My thoughtful family, who seems to always be on the look-out for an excuse for some kind of surprise, ought to earn a reward for the graduation open-house they threw for me in February.  Not only did my entire immediate family get to be here to celebrate, but several close friends were flown in as a surprise for the momentous occasion.  It was so special to see each of them and so humbling to be reminded of the great lengths my family goes to just for me.

While all of the family was in the same state for my graduation, we were all able to enjoy a cold, wonderful day at White Pass—an old family tradition that wants to be revived.  I am attempting to revive whatever snowboarding capabilities I used to have as well.  I always enjoy getting strapped to the board again, especially when it is alongside my brothers, who are my snowboarding heroes.


Another successful year of teaching at our local after-school program came to an end, and we entered into a very busy summer.   Throughout the summer we hosted our dog’s first litter of puppies, an enthusiastic crew of 8.  We were especially thankful that the puppies were so cute, which greatly contributed to the rapid sale of the litter.

Tirzah and I were asked to teach at our church’s VBS as well as at a local day camp over the summer.   We both enjoyed the opportunity to serve and be with so many wonderful kids from our area.  We were also kept quite busy with our housekeeping business, which requires a lot of attention in the summertime.  The freedom to work on our own schedule is an unmatched benefit of our business.  Tirzah and I are so thankful for the jobs we’ve been offered and the wonderful people we get to work with.



Amidst the pre-existing responsibilities of summer, we were able to fit in a very quick road trip to Wisconsin (as quick as possible, anyway) for the wedding of a friend/honorary family member, Ema.  Although the nights were nearly sleepless and the miles were many, my mom, Tirzah, and I were all so glad to be there in support of someone so special to us.

In August, my mom had a speaking engagement in Alaska, and Tirzah and I were able to join her there for a few days.   Between 4-wheeling, games, canoeing, and late nights, it was so good to see and catch up with several friends there.  3 months earlier Hannah and Christian had been able to visit Washington for the 3rd time, so we were glad to be able to return the favor at last.









As if our summer traveling hadn’t already hit a climax, we drove a very full car east to South Carolina at the end of August.  After spending months praying for wisdom and seeking counsel from several sources, I finally decided to take the leap into college at Bob Jones University.  A very tough semester ensued, providing a college experience that was quite different from my expectations.   Roommates proved to be an interesting (and now mostly laughable) situation, classes kept me exceptionally busy, dorms were certainly not my cozy home in the woods, and having a phone paid off as I spent approximately 20+ hours on phone calls each month.   An outstanding amount of mail/packages from family and friends as well as the company of my 2 cousins in the Greenville area eased the blow of daily life.  I really particularly enjoyed getting better acquainted with my cousins—attending church with them and benefitting from several enjoyable conversations together.  I could go on at length about the laughs, tears, frustrations, and adventures of these past 4 months, but I will not bore you with on-going details.  I learned so much about so many things in this little taste of college, which turned a hard thing into a good thing.

These past couple weeks of blissful Christmas break have hurried by in a blur.  A second litter of puppies has already arrived—but only a very fat pair of 2 this time.  Some short-lived snow gave us a white Christmas, which some people can only dream or sing about.   Family members of all sizes have filled our hearts and bedrooms in the past several days.  I am reminded of the things that matter the most in my life, and my prayer is that my focus will lie there in this coming year.   I do not know what struggles and joys 2018 holds, but I am confident that I am held fast by the One Who loves me most.

Happy New Year to all readers near and far!  May 2018 be filled with evidence of God's love for you.