Monday, August 20, 2018

Thomas Jefferson and the friendly letter

Legend has it that I began writing letters as a simple school assignment.  I wrote to my grandparents and one "friend" whom I'd never met aside from being babies together (many virtual rewards to her for still being my pen-pal, and now also one of my dearest friends in person).  They made up the most glorious part of my school, and it soon progressed into a hobby.  As my personal address book continued to expand, my little hobby began to explode into a competition with Thomas Jefferson, writer of more than 30,000 letters.  I would really like to have a personal interview with the man who was one of America's greatest presidents and writer of the long-standing Declaration of Independence but still found time to pen so many letters.  I can just imagine his friends "thoughtfully" passing on old ink jars that had become sticky with age and his parents or wife starting a budget just for stamps and envelopes.

Do you ever wonder what the deal was with his 30,000+ letters?  Do you think they started as a school assignment?  Or maybe a dare from an unsuspecting friend who secretly thought "he'll never..."?  I suppose he could've been counting every draft of the Declaration of Independence, but I would rather think that Thomas Jefferson wrote letters because they were part of who he was.  He might have written to his grandmother about his growing children and the pressures of presidency.  I can see him scribbling on goofy postcards for his children while away on business and writing to an old friend to reminisce about past adventures.

But where did his time and inspiration come from?  Why would he have spent so much time creating 30,000+ letters for the people in his life?  I wish I could tell you that I got a hold of one of Jefferson's notebooks that held all the answers to these questions and his writing strategy that produced such a successful number of letters, but all I have is years of my own practice and some inspiration to try matching up.

The thing I love about letters is that they take you to a different, unique level of knowing someone and give you the opportunity to write out the full version (unlike instant messages, which are generally the abridged version).  Writing a letter, whether a reply or a "thinking of you," can be a meaningful code to your friendship.  This is a code that tells your friend that they are special to you.

"If your eyes could speak, what would they say?"  This is one of my favorite quotes from The Book Thief because of the way it effects my writing by reminding me to use words more carefully and beautifully.  Letters are one tool that give my eyes and feelings a chance to speak by going beyond the information basics and re-living a moment through words in all its details and sensory pieces.  I often find myself stuck on the stressors and tasks of today, sometimes forgetting things as simple as what I was up to yesterday or last weekend; but that moment when take up my pen and paper is the moment that I get to look back at the things that make my life the daily gift that it is.
Beyond the writing itself, handwriting makes up a big part of a letter, too.  Writing style and handwriting all say something about who you are as a person and what personality is hiding inside. My handwriting is also a part of who I am. Whether good, bad, or somewhere in-between, it is me.  My handwriting--and even writing style--has gone through a host of phases in 20 years.  It has gone from nasty to chunky to trying-to-be-cool to flea print and arrived at something that is somehow a mix of all of those things.  All my past letters are one of the few evidences of that progression, and it makes me realize how far I've come.  (It also helped to stop asking all my pen-pals what their favorite letter of the alphabet was.)
Letters don't just force me to write; they motivate me to practice writing well.

As with a lot of things in my life, the way I write letters is also pretty structured and organized.  When it comes to writing a friendly letter, this is the general pattern that I follow (If you are not replying, skip step 2):

1. Try not to begin the letter with "How are you?"
The beginning and end are always the hardest.  When I was little, I think every single letter started with this question because I did not know how to open up my letter.  It also sounds rather dull and bland, like a cookie with only half of the important ingredients.   Now I only very rarely ask "how are you?" at any point in a letter because I can usually extract that information from the style and news of their letter of reply without making them say "I'm doing well."
My letters have now taken on a new tune and tend to start out with a variation of "Getting your letter this week was such a special treat and really made my day!" or "I've been thinking about you so much that I could no longer resist writing you."  The first sentence should make a connection between you and your friend.

2. Systematically answer questions/comments from the letter to which I am responding.
One of the most frustrating things of receiving a letter is realizing that one of the questions you had asked went unanswered.  To avoid that mistake, I go through their letter answering each question and commenting on stories/information before getting too lost in writing about my own world.
     > Make sure you write your answer in a way that ensures the reader will remember the topic at hand.  Be sure to reference the topic/question you are answering.  (i.e. Yes, it was vs. Yes, our vacation was 3 days long.)
     > Simply commenting on something from your friend's letter is appropriate, but it also requires clarity as to the topic.  The best way to make it clear (and more interesting) is to purposefully write at least 2-3 sentences in reply to that subject.
     > The only time I depart from my system and give out information on recent news or what-not is when it (1) completes the answer to a question or (2) fits in really well with whatever I'm already writing about.

3. Write about the highlights of the past 1-3 weeks (or more).
This is when it's fun to practice descriptions and details.  DON'T think "that's kind of an insignificant part; I guess I'll just leave it out."  It's those little insignificant pieces that make the story more fun and include your friend in the little pieces of your life.

4. Ask questions that show interest.
Questions make replying so much easier for your friend.  I think they also tend to say "I've been thinking about what's happening in your life and wondered how ________ is going."  They show that you are forward thinking about them.  But you can have too many questions so that replying becomes overwhelming.  Sometimes I accidentally end up with a bunch of questions at the end (which I try not to do), and I'm always afraid that I've taken my friend on a nice little walk through my recent life and then buried them alive.  Probably not a solid strategy.  Pick an average of about 5 questions about your friend and/or his/her life and try to appropriately spread them out throughout the letter.

5. Conclusion.
Unlike a thank you note, you really don't want to give your friendly letter a research paper twist in the conclusion.  Don't try to sum all your "points" (news) into a final paragraph.  Even more so than with the beginning of a letter, I struggle with creating a meaningful conclusion.  Depending on the friend or the general tone of the letter, I like to end with some piece of specific encouragement, though.  Sometimes that means writing about how much they mean to me, sometimes it means recalling a memory or 2 together and mentioning how much I miss them, and sometimes it comes with a compliment.  It takes work to make a conclusion on point, but it's so worth it.

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

A new start to an old blog

After a few weeks of overbearing heat, last week finally brought in a few days of my favorite summer weather.  The nonthreatening morning clouds lingered long into the day, like a close friend who doesn't want to part.  The afternoon sun then came slowly peeling back the clouds, producing a comfortable radiance for a few quiet hours before saying goodnight, leaving our corner of the world in a soft, warm blanket for the next cloudy morning.

Maybe this post is a little like the refreshing coolness in the drought of my blog.  As my last blog post drifted further into the past, I felt a sense of obligation to just get something posted again.  Anything.  That's how I knew I wasn't ready to say hello to my blog again yet, so I took an unintentional break.  I don't want to be here out of obligation or to just get another post out there.

I have thought about the blog nearly every day of my absence, though, wondering what direction I should take here and wondering when I would be ready to be back.  I want my blog to be purposeful, and not just about making sure to blog something with some kind of frequency.  I want to contribute content that has meaning and that is of interest to you, my readers.  (Hint: make use of the comments section and let me know what you like to hear.)  Along the way I've struggled with things like fear: what if I don't do a very good job putting my thoughts into words?  What if my amateur skills in writing and photography aren't really worth this blog?  And things like uncertainty: what do readers like to see/read when they come here?  What is worth sharing?

When I was little, I spent every spare moment writing because I loved it too much to let anything get in the way.  Stories, letters, essays--practically anything other than poetry.  As an adult, I've forgotten what it's like to write and create fearlessly.  I think more about what people will think and spend more time comparing myself to accomplished people whom I admire.  And I think anyone with a gift or hobby has to face these kind of hurdles at some point.  We all have to overcome the fear within to allow ourselves to be something for the world outside.  God gives each of us different stories, different talents, and different ways of expressing who we are as unique individuals.  People aren't respected for giving up but for pressing through resistance to find the real talent.


So here I am with a blog that started because one of my heroes advised me to share a little piece of myself with the world.  But maybe this blog is more for myself than for the world as I keep practicing the writing and learning what it's like to produce a purposeful blog that can help me become a better communicator and person.

The weather is hot and oppressive again.  I've already gotten 2 sunburns this summer, which is 2 more times than usual.  The sun unashamedly peeks through the trees in the early morning, revealing a blue sky that's pale with haze, as if even the sky is tired out.  The sun is setting a little earlier each night, like a secret message that summer will soon give way to fall.  How did August creep up when I'd turned my back?