The friendship investment

Have you ever been in such a busy time of life that you wonder where friends can fit in?  Is it even worth trying to fit them into the schedule during this phase of life?  Or is there a time of life where friends just don't really belong?

If you had asked these questions to me during my childhood, I probably would have gone into shock followed by a coma at the thought of not making time for friends.  I was constantly plotting how to arrange seeing my friends on a daily basis, living for friend interaction like my life depended on it.  

But somewhere in the growing up process, the friend dependence meter starts to go down.  Priorities change, calendars get full, and relationships shift.  In my own life, college, work, family, and community pull in a thousand directions, and it's hard to know what the placement for friends should look like in this new normal of being an adult.  Sometimes...well, sometimes it can feel like the time for friends has passed.

It's really tempting to let days and months go by in their normal, busy flurry and ignore the fact that maybe a core group of friends with similar interests, goals of personal improvement, and a spiritual connection is an invaluable gift worth scheduling into all this crazy.  

Our new adventure together of last summer!

In one of my recent classes, I was asked "what are you doing for fun on a regular basis?"  I was shocked.  I might expect my university to push me to be more disciplined, give everything to my courses, be committed 100% to good grades; I didn't expect my university to check for "fun" on the schedule.  This actually helped me realize that even fun is important for a well-rounded, healthy lifestyle.  So think again if you feel like you're being forced to cut "fun" out.

Although I am writing this from a single person's perspective, I think there are valuable reasons for anyone to intentionally have set aside friend time at least a few times each year.  Real friends are like a "must have" of sorts because they can provide a fresh breath of mountain air to the polluted city of constant deadlines and to-do lists. With the right foundation of intentional friendship, these core people can also pay back in incredible ways as an outside source (non-family) to walk through life's mountains and valleys with you.  (You never know when you or your friend will need the stability of your friendship.)

Friendships are actually a life investment.  They are the people who help you learn to be a better listener, communicator, and supporter.  They involve investing time (and often money) to connect with someone and prove that they matter.  And you might find, like I do, that putting time and encouragement into this investment ends up blessing you more than anything else.

So I'm thankful for fun.  And I'm thankful for going deeper.  And I'm thankful for friends to join me in both.  These 3 friends have been wonderful core people in my life for many years, and I'm super thankful that we have all been intentional about having set aside time together as "just us" at least once a year.  This has been a very worth-while investment for me as I learn to sympathize better and hear other people out...and it's always refreshing to just laugh and be myself with these God-given friends.  

Last year we actually scheduled in 3 different times to be together, and it was so good for me.  I'm also thankful that these years of making this friendship a priority have paid off in wonderfully practical ways such as greater openness and their valued support through hard times.  It's definitely been worth fitting into a demanding life.